Rating: Might actually be R, though it's not particularly...
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
There are things that she doesn't know she remembers. Reactions that
seem instinctive until a few hours later she realises that no, it's
something Tobin learned to do. A route that she takes through the
station that one day turns out to be part of the ten kilometres
Jadzia used to jog whenever she was feeling stressed.
There are other memories that jump out at her without warning. Dreams
that don't leave her in the morning, that make too much sense to be
anything other than real. Visions that flash through her mind at the
prompting of some small unexpected trigger.
Family dinners and elaborate ceremonies and events that don't make
sense for weeks because she can't quite seem to pick out the context.
And then, of course, there's the sex. She dreams those memories most
nights. She wakes up sweating and flushed and sometimes expects to be
hard, but she, of course, is female.
It's bad enough for her to remember the exact pitch of Worf's roar
and the way they used to throw each other around the room. Of course,
he was far more gentle with Ezri because she's small and delicate and
practically useless, didn't you know, and something hurt inside when
she tried to flip him over and he didn't even notice.
But it's worse when she slips back another life, because she had
heard of the Emissary before she ever met Benjamin Sisko, and even
after that it was hard for her to see him as a man and not a symbol.
After all, she followed him through the desert and watched him nearly
lose his mind in pursuit of an artefact. She shouldn't know the way
his breathing speeds up as he nears orgasm.
She shouldn't remember the way his dick felt in her hand, and she
shouldn't be able to feel him pressed between her tall old body and a
wall, and she definitely shouldn't know how it feels to fuck him. But
Dax squirms pleasurably inside her, and her mental picture of Curzon
tips her a salacious wink, and it takes days before she can look the
Captain in the eye again.
But it doesn't really matter. It's not as though it changes anything.
The embarrassment is always there, but she pushes it into the
background and moves on with her work, because she does want to prove
And besides, Ezri prefers to bottom.
fic by character