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Title: Memories
Author: kbk
Rating: Might actually be R, though it's not particularly...
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.



There are things that she doesn't know she remembers. Reactions that seem instinctive until a few hours later she realises that no, it's something Tobin learned to do. A route that she takes through the station that one day turns out to be part of the ten kilometres Jadzia used to jog whenever she was feeling stressed.

There are other memories that jump out at her without warning. Dreams that don't leave her in the morning, that make too much sense to be anything other than real. Visions that flash through her mind at the prompting of some small unexpected trigger.

Family dinners and elaborate ceremonies and events that don't make sense for weeks because she can't quite seem to pick out the context. And then, of course, there's the sex. She dreams those memories most nights. She wakes up sweating and flushed and sometimes expects to be hard, but she, of course, is female.

It's bad enough for her to remember the exact pitch of Worf's roar and the way they used to throw each other around the room. Of course, he was far more gentle with Ezri because she's small and delicate and practically useless, didn't you know, and something hurt inside when she tried to flip him over and he didn't even notice.

But it's worse when she slips back another life, because she had heard of the Emissary before she ever met Benjamin Sisko, and even after that it was hard for her to see him as a man and not a symbol. After all, she followed him through the desert and watched him nearly lose his mind in pursuit of an artefact. She shouldn't know the way his breathing speeds up as he nears orgasm.

She shouldn't remember the way his dick felt in her hand, and she shouldn't be able to feel him pressed between her tall old body and a wall, and she definitely shouldn't know how it feels to fuck him. But Dax squirms pleasurably inside her, and her mental picture of Curzon tips her a salacious wink, and it takes days before she can look the Captain in the eye again.

But it doesn't really matter. It's not as though it changes anything. The embarrassment is always there, but she pushes it into the background and moves on with her work, because she does want to prove herself.

And besides, Ezri prefers to bottom.



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