ADVERTISEMENT Title: Crossing The Same Bridge Twice Author: nostalgia Rated: PG Summary: Angst, angst, slashiness... --- Molly's fifteen when Keiko finally leaves you. Not that you're surprised when she goes, because, really, it's been over for years. She runs off with an archaeologist from Mars, and you get the kids during the summer months, when the flowers are in bloom. You wonder if she chose the time of year to spite you. You call Julian for sympathy and support, but he's already calling you, and you get invited back to the station to see him marry Ezri. You don't quite know how to tell him about Keiko after that. You'd just look like you were trying to spoil things. When you get there you find out that Kira's given you your old quarters, and that she doesn't know about the divorce. But Molly's happy to have her own room back, so you suffer in silence the way you always do. Yoshi just looks at you blankly when you tell him that he was born on the station. Kira spreads the word, discreet as ever. You get Ezri in counsellor mode and Julian not knowing quite where to look. You just shrug when people tell you how sorry they are. You wish that Julian didn't have to say he wished it had happened sooner. Not now, not when you're holding his kid and there's a wedding in two days. And you really don't need him telling you he has no idea why they're getting married, that it's just to keep her mother happy. Most of all you don't need him staring at his shoes and saying that Ezri understands, that she turns a blind eye if it's just men. You wish you hadn't agreed to let Molly drink wine at the reception on condition that she baby-sit Yoshi. That way you wouldn't be there at that moment, putting the baby back in the crib and thinking how much it looks like Ezri. And then you wouldn't have to turn round and kiss him with the pent-up lust of twelve years. You stand and stare into space at the wedding, daydream through the standard secular Federation ceremony. You try not to think about all the sex they'll have after the reception. You try not to remember that they'll be doing it in the bed you finally shagged him in two days ago. Molly tugs at your sleeve and reminds you that you okayed her drinking wine. You tell her just one glass and she rolls her eyes melodramatically. You're surprised she doesn't tell you that her mother would have let her have at least two. Tradition demands that you talk to the appallingly happy couple, and every time Ezri opens her mouth you expect her to say that Julian's told her what happened. But she doesn't mention anything like that. You wonder if she really is fine with him having other men when she's not there. You drink far too much at the reception and Molly tells you you're embarrassing her. You buy her off with another glass of wine and she leaves you alone after that. You wish you'd stayed on Earth and claimed you were too depressed about Keiko. You end up in a corner of the bar, playing darts with Julian. It's just like old times, but you notice that he touches you a lot more than he used to. He tells you that the station isn't the same without you, that you should get a transfer back. He says that the new school's great, that there's a lot more kids here than there used to be. And it'll be a lot easier to get the kids back for the summer if Keiko goes on that survey mission to the Gamma Quadrant and you're living on the station. You're not quite sure what happens after that, but you're fairly sure you threw the first punch. Quark tells you that you're both switching to something non-alcoholic and Molly tells you that she hates you. Ezri sits the two of you down and makes you both apologise. You want to tell her everything, but you pretend that it was nothing, that you just took losing badly. She nods like she understands, and tells you yet again how sorry she is about Keiko. You get fond farewells from what's left of the old gang while you're waiting for the transport back to Earth, and you're relieved that Molly seems to be speaking to you again. You suspect she was a bit hung-over after the reception, but you didn't say anything to her. You probably should have. Yoshi tells you that weddings are boring, and you tell him that he's right. You remind yourself that you wouldn't have the kids if you hadn't married Keiko, and helps, a little. Molly asks about visiting the station again, and you just shrug and say you don't know, that your job keeps you busy back on Earth. Julian turns up to wave you off, and you find yourself thinking about that transfer. Not that you'd ever tell him that, and you wish him luck as you step through the airlock. Like he's the one that needs it. You get home and discover that Molly's trying to set you up with one of her teachers. Yoshi tells you that you're far too old and that he doesn't want to have to go to another wedding ever again. Keiko calls and asks about the kids. She never asks how you are, and you find that it doesn't really bother you. You buy a dartboard and attach it to the living room wall. Molly's teacher tells you that she gets space sick, and you decide to have dinner with her again, see how things work out. You start thinking up excuses not to visit the station, and eventually Julian stops asking. You tell each other that you're very happy, and both of you know that the other one is lying.