Title: Roll, Jordan, Roll
Disclaimer: Me not own these people. So there.
Summary: Slavery and freedom in the Mirror Universe.
Author's Random Crap: kbk was my beta-bitch.
If the alternative is slavery, people will do almost anything. We'll
fight, we'll die, we will kill in cold blood.
Except I've never been very good at that last part. Even though I
know that it isn't really cold blood, not in circumstances like
Fortunately, Julian is very good at the killing. He's even come close
to killing me a few times, when he's angry or drunk or just annoyed.
He says they did something to him, when he was a kid. Made him
smarter, took away a little bit of his conscience. I don't think he's
bitter about that. I think he's proud.
If we ever succeed at this, if we manage to destroy the Alliance, or
get them to leave us all alone, it might be best if someone killed
him. We won't need someone like him if that ever happens, we won't
need a human killing machine on the loose.
But now, I suppose, he's useful. Like I said, he's good at the
We're still slaves, really. We have to hide from everyone, live in
caves. There's never enough food. But we're free in our own way.
We're in control now.
I actually met him years ago, in the ore processing centre on Terok
Nor. Only it wasn't really him, it was a calmer, saner one from the
other universe. That nice, happy one where everyone plays fair. Said
he was a doctor, said he hated having to kill.
Sometimes I like to pretend that my Julian is that other one. That
I'll wake up in a friendlier reality, and the man sleeping next to me
won't be dreaming of murder. It's one of those internal betrayals we
all commit. I shouldn't feel guilty about it.
Maybe that other Julian could actually love me. Maybe he wouldn't
think of me as "something to pass the time with." Another little
Or maybe the other Julian never looks at his Miles O'Brien that way.
And maybe his Miles O'Brien doesn't want him either. It's so
different over there. There's no way for me to know what might have
The other Miles is free, and doesn't depend on the people I have to
depend on. He's married, with a daughter. He's happy.
If it would let me live his life, I'd gladly kill that other Miles,
slide a knife into him and watch the blood drip onto the floor. Would
that be murder or suicide? Both?
It's not that I don't love this Julian. It's just that I know I
shouldn't. I shouldn't want to be so close to a killer.
When the alternative is slavery, you'll do almost anything. When
you've been a slave, it's hard to get used to having free will. When
I worked on Terok Nor I waited until someone told me what to do, and
then I did it. Now I have to make up my own mind about what to do.
It's a lot harder than I thought it would be.
But I'm me now. And that's what matters. That should be what matters.
Why isn't it the only thing that matters?